


Coping

by Saberin



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: Angst, F/F, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-17
Updated: 2016-12-19
Packaged: 2018-09-09 06:49:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8880088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saberin/pseuds/Saberin
Summary: In which muse learns how to cope





	1. Hey

“Nico would want those sorted I think,” They hear Eli’s voice from the other side of the club room, their student council president staring outside the window. It hasn’t been closed since two weeks ago, after Nico claimed that fresh air would do them all good. And Nico’s advices usually work.

“I’ll do it!” Hanayo says immediately, jerking up from her seat isn front of the laptop. The music continues to play, they hear ARISE blasting over and over.  “I know where Nico would put these CDs… I think.”

“Thank you, Hanayo.” A curt nod, other than that Eli barely moves from her position near the window. Umi thinks she knows, because that window oversees the school field and the courtyard. Umi thinks she knows, because those are the places Rin goes to when she is lost. She could almost see Rin running on the tracks without a care on the world.

“Eli…” She starts softly, before letting the voice die into a whisper.

“These would go here!” Hanayo cuts in with a voice that is too high, gesturing at a particularly decorated column. “Nico told me this entire shelf is for her favourite bands.” She puts the decorative banner right at the very back, the one that says Hanayo is the new club president. She smiles at herself almost proudly, taking a last look before grabbing the stack of disks.

“Hanayo…”

“I’ll get this done soon, Umi-chan! Nico puts our songs in this shelf too.” The disks land on the floor, out of her trembling hands. Hanayo pours out apologies with a voice that shatters. “Sorry… I-I’ll get these sorted.”

Umi leaves then, because she knows, when Eli walks over to their junior with a sad smile, that she would be in safe hands.

 

* * *

 

She finds Kotori in the music room with Maki, her fellow classmate sitting at a corner with her utmost concentration in sewing. Scarves of various designs fill the small desk, she sees beanies, sweaters and new costumes. Too much pink, she thinks, that it is overflowing.

“Isn’t it a bit too early for these?” Umi gives a small laugh, “It is only April.” She ignores the glaring view of the costumes.

Kotori looks up at her and smiles. “You can never be too early, Umi-chan.”

She looks at Kotori’s swollen fingers, handiwork of two weeks of nonstop sewing, and sighs. Maki gives her a head shake from where she sits and the words that she tries to get out dies in her throat.

A clashing chord, a suspended one and dozen other chords echo around the room, before she hears a soft careless sob. Umi takes her leave when the first note of their song starts playing, she hears Nico’s voice singing start dash. She sees them on stage all shining under the stage lights.

She feels tears on her face.

 

* * *

 

“Umi-chan!” Honoka greets her the moment she is spotted by the stairs, the leader dressed in her workout clothes and waving at her from the other side of the railing.

“Do you think we should organize another concert?”

The cheeriness chokes, Umi thinks, as she let herself be led by her best friend in a tour of a place that is all too familiar. A cracked tile two steps away from the west railing, a lamp post five feet away, with Nico’s hairband dangling on the protruding nail and Rin’s cap on another.

“We could put more balloons here next time! I remember Nico-chan’s siblings loving them!” They walk past their practice spot. Brown, cream and then brown tiles. “Remember how much they love Nico’s solo concert?”

Honoka gives a smile that almost blinds her. “We should do that again!”

“Of course.” She agrees, and she thinks that she might’ve just said her worst lie.

 

* * *

  

It was their ritual, even though she is the only one who really does it now. Her footsteps accompany her in a calming rhythm, left, right, left, right. Definite, firm, and concise. Void of the unknown. Her last step always ends with her right, her last step used to start with Nozomi’s call.

Umi sees the shrine maiden ten feet away in a muttered prayer, a pile of leaves neatly at the side. In the short time span that she ponders on how she should approach her senior, Nozomi had turned around, facing her with a grin that seems to be permanently plastered.

“Umi-chan! Came to visit again?”

She nods, and Nozomi passes her a bottle of water. She sees another eight more bottles by the side.

“No matter how quietly I come up here, you never seem to miss me,” She says after a while.

“All thanks to my spiritual power~”

They laugh, albeit it sounds hollow. It has been, ever since, as if something is missing from their laughter. Maybe just a pinch of sarcasm, a little argument.

“Nico hates it when you do that,” Umi comments unwillingly. A subconscious thing, she realizes. Because only Nico could truly fill the emptiness. She watches Nozomi tense up, eyes shining too bright for her own good. “Unfair of you to know everything. She finds it creepy.”

“Do you think she will come back if I do something she hates again?” The grin finally drops after two weeks. They are all tired, Umi thinks. She hears the pleading tone, and almost breaks when Nozomi continues with a teary smile. “Do you think she wants to see us again?”

“Don’t doubt that Nozomi!”

“I don’t know anything anymore,” She finds herself hugging Nozomi, her senior crying on her shoulders.

It is a feeling that sits inside you like a seed waiting to grow, before the roots take over and clenches over your heart.

“She loves us.” She whispers. “She will be fine. Nico will return to our side.”

She hears the machine beeping, a calming rhythm that accompanies her on nights that she visits.

“The world’s number one idol is strong.”

She hears her own crying. 

“Don’t doubt that.”


	2. Hey Nico

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> read with a dash of ludovico einaudi :)

Room 205 is a well-lit place, daffodils by the window splashed colour in a tiny corner, mirroring the sun outside. The table by the side is filled with soft toys, a jar of colourful paper cranes and an incomplete sweater hanging on the chair. She shouldn’t be this affected, she tells herself as she huffs into her palms. This is normal; the _smell_ , how everything feels too white and organized, so unlike their club room.

“Hey Nico,” She begins, fingers reaching for the ends of her hair out of habit. Monologues are not her forte after all. “You really should be getting up soon.” Maki twirls them nervously, this place has always been her domain, the beeping machines in the hospital a common occurrence.

“You look really stupid with the mask on your face, just saying,” She continues, getting up from the chair and instead sitting on the bed. Closer, she thinks, maybe Nico could feel her if she is closer.

“Everyone is worried about you,” She whispers, a single finger trailing down Nico’s pale one. Deathly white, as if the colour of the walls seeped into her skin. She tries not to take note of their obvious temperature difference.  

“So wake up soon,” She holds Nico’s hand in her own, “I made a new song for you.” She hears Nico’s voice in her mind; obnoxious, loud, angry, temperamental. She sees Nico shining on stage; beautiful, elegant, happy.

“It is getting a bit too quiet.” A soft whispered confession. The room seems too large for two.

“And muse is never complete without you.”

 

* * *

  

“H-Hey Nico-chan!” Hanayo tries, an attempted cheery voice which turns out more like a squeak. She places the school bag by the side, flowers in tow and moves for the vase by the windowsill. The dying daffodils are quickly replaced, with sunflowers taking its place.

She manages a small smile despite the dreary mood.

“I-I watched A-RISE’s performance without you for the first time,” Hanayo whispers, sitting on the familiar chair. “You were right about the tickets selling out! They really did better at their newest live.”

She coughs lightly. It momentarily fills up the silence.

“You should’ve seen the cheers they got. There were some really really cool light effects too. And then Tsubasa-san did something, the crowd went wild.”

The machines hum and the clock ticks on.

 “I’m not telling you what she did though, that’s for you to find out.” She chuckles, “I bought the blu-ray! We’ll watch it together when you’re awake!”

“I wonder if we did half as good as them all the time.” She gives her senior another look, “You used to be the one to tell me we did well after every performance.”

 _Beep, tick. Beep, tick._ She picks up her phone and plays a song in the end.

“Hey Nico-chan, you promised, right?”

 

* * *

 

“Rin’s here today!” Rin says the moment she slips into the room. “They almost didn’t let me have my turn alone with you. Kayo-chin nearly tagged along before I said, “No! It’s my turn today!”.”

She takes her place by the cold hard floor and sits with her cheeks on her knees, facing the left where Nico lies. Fingers drum unconsciously on the floor, Rin wonders if it is a side effect of play too much rhythm games.

“Sorry it took me a while to visit ehehe. Rin can be busy too you know,” She smiles, “Oh and I beat your record on the game we played together!”

Too quiet, she thinks, reaching for her phone. The song plays, keeping them company. And she sucks in a deep breath, because it is one of _their_ songs.

Theirs, it belongs to the after-school navigators.

“Maki-chan said she came up with a new song nya…” She pauses, “Kotori-chan is making something! A new costume I think? Oh and a sweater for you!”

“Umi-chan runs with me now!” She pauses and wraps her arms around herself. “Nozomi-chan and Eli-chan seem really busy.”

“Ah Rin doesn’t really know what to say.” She reaches for the pink cardigan on the chair and holds it close. Soft and warm, it feels like Nico. “But I’ll keep you company here!”

 “Hey Nico-chan, wake up soon okay?”

She gives Nico a light bump on the arm.

 

* * *

 

Room 205 is a well-lit place, sunflowers by the window splashed colour in a tiny corner, mirroring the sun outside. The table by the side is filled with soft toys, a jar of colourful paper cranes and an incomplete sweater hanging on the chair. Nico’s cardigan lies on top of the owner, pink partly covering the white sheets.

It gives Nico a bit more colour, Kotori thinks.

She places her bag on the floor, grabs the sweater and reaches for her knitting needles before taking a seat on the chair.

“Hey Nico-chan,” Her fingers work on the material, left right, left right. The threads flow through her fingers like coloured water. “I accidentally knitted all our colours in. Just a little by the edges.”

She lightly kicks her legs and hums a tune. “It used to be a lot more fun sewing and knitting when I was with you Nico-chan.”

“You’re always able to point out the mistakes. Laces, material, budget. Kotori uses your stitching method now!”

She wonders why she misses Nico’s soft reprimands.

“And the first rule of everything is to have the clothes fit! You have to wake up and try this sweater on!”

“It might be a little too big though,” Kotori laughs, “Hmmm, although I wouldn’t mind seeing you in an oversized one.”

“Would you still like this sweater?”

 

* * *

 

“Nico-chan!” Honoka’s voice echoes about the room. The leader brings a small player in and places it on the table, waving the CD excitedly.

_Beep, tick. Beep, tick._

“They say classical music helps all the time, but guess what Nico-chan! I brought over A-RISE’s newest single!”

_Beep, tick. Beep, tick._

“Newest single! The absolute newest! The one that just came out like two days ago!” She takes a seat on the bed and hugs her knees close. “Hanayo-chan says you might just leap out of your bed when you hear Tsubasa-san’s voice. Huh… will it work if I play it for you?”

She reaches over and plays the song in the end, the player’s sound covering the sounds of the machines.

“It is kinda weird without you around recently!” She pauses and replays a part of the song, “Oh they sound _really good!”_

“My mom told me to bring over more pastries for you when you’re awake! You’re lucky~”

“Everybody hasn’t been themselves lately, I wonder if you know what to do Nico-chan? You always seem to have the solutions.”

“Huh… I kinda miss doing Umi’s training routine with you.” She feels something wet running down her cheeks again.

“Hey Nico-chan, come back soon okay?”

 

* * *

 

Umi knocks before entering, routine tells her that there would be no response, yet a part of her secretly wishes it to be answered. She takes small quiet steps into the room and heads for the windowsill, replacing the sunflowers with yellow roses.

“Hey Nico,” She takes a seat on the chair and giggles softly at Kotori’s knitted finger puppets by the table. “How have you been?”

Nico’s new sweater lies on top of the owner, pink partly covering the white sheets. It gives Nico a bit more colour, Umi thinks.

“Ah… Maki came up with a new song and I wrote some lyrics for it.” She plays with the finger puppets and places two over Nico’s index fingers. “Although I didn’t really like the lyrics I made.”

“It’s a song for you,” She tucks Nico’s hands back under the blankets. “I need to you sing it for me. For me to edit.”

 _Beep, tick. Beep, tick._ She picks up her phone and plays the song in the end.

“It is different without you Nico. I don’t have words to explain it.” She picks up the rest of the finger puppets, each one a muse member and whispers to them.

“But we all miss you.”

 

* * *

 

Eli knocks on the door before entering, one hand firmly on Nozomi and another holding a bouquet of flowers.

Room 205 is a well-lit place, yellow roses by the window splashed colour in a tiny corner, mirroring the sun outside. The table by the side is filled with soft toys, a jar of colourful paper cranes, and finger puppets. A sweater and her pink cardigan hang on the chair.

“Hey Nico,” Eli greets, “We’re here.” She says simply, while Nozomi lays the new bouquet by the side. She spots the two knitted finger puppets on Nico’s hands and laughs. The yellow and purple hair almost seem like a coincidence.

“Nozomi here almost didn’t want to come in with me just now,” Eli continues, “W-Wait don’t pinch me! You said-”

“I was thinking of something annoying to do before you pulled me in!” Nozomi huffs, already hugging the cardigan close. “After all Nicocchi only really reacts…”

“W-Wait don’t cry right now, Nozomi…”

“This _idiot.”_ She buries her face into the cardigan, it is already void of Nico’s scent,

“Ah there she goes,” Eli lets out a sigh, “She is going to hate you if you don’t wake up soon.”

“ _Nicocchi is an idiot.”_ Nozomi repeats, pouting as she reaches for all the puppets. They slide in one by one, filling up Nico’s fingers.

“An idiot who needs to study. We took notes for you these few weeks!”

They slip into a comfortable silence, Nozomi lightly humming a tune while Eli reports. The banters afterwards are too light, too soft, and too quiet. Almost like there is a missing role.

“You know, Elichi has been crying in the council room.”

“That’s a lie Nozomi.”

“Elichi’s been wearing your pink cardigan-”

“Look who’s holding it right now?”

“We both miss you so much.” Nozomi finally says and Eli breaks into tears.

 

* * *

 

“You’re both… disgustingly noisy,” She whispers.

The room is a well-lit place, yellow roses by the window splashed colour in a tiny corner, mirroring the sun outside. The table by the side is filled with soft toys, a jar of colourful paper cranes, and finger puppets. A sweater and her pink cardigan hang on the chair.

And she feels warm, with both her best friends clinging onto her arms. Nozomi plays with her fingers while Eli strokes her palm with her thumb.

“I’m back,” Nico manages a weak smile, “Can’t… a girl sleep in peace?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yellow flowers are symbols of friendship, a bouquet bursting with yellow blooms sends a message of new beginnings and happiness. Sunflowers are connoted with bringing sunshine in the form of happiness to people. Yellow rose flower symbolize springtime, friendship, appreciation and devotion.


End file.
